Get Diplo the Hell Away From Charli XCX and Get Her Back with A.G. Cook and Sophie

Man what is this???? Like who asked for this, who signed off on this music video, how did the sample get approved, and whose idea was this? Instagram commenter and DJ, Diplo decided to come fresh off of ruining Joe Jonas’ wedding by coaxing Charli XCX into recording the most unnecessary remix of all time. The track comes fresh with a “futuristic” music video if when you imagine the future you imagine a combination of Ecco the Dolphin and Nights into Dreams for the Sega Saturn. that has some bad green

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Like is Charli even awake here?

screen work that stops being charming the second you imagine the budget that went into this video, and the most unenthusiastic dolphin riding I have ever seen. Neither the video or the song pay an ounce of homage to the source material in any way other than the “Wannabe” sample. That and them happening to drop the song a day after the Spice Girls reunited in Dublin truly are the only two things that this track has to do with the Spice Girls at all. Charli isn’t given a second to breath on the song, as soon as the chorus drop would be coming in on Wannabe Diplo drops in the most straightforward vocal chop he could have conjured up. It all just feels so lazy and unnecessary and like they are trying to cash in on something even though it’s not exactly clear what they’re trying to cash in on. Its not at all interesting and doesn’t try to be. There is some nice Spanish guitar that is splashed throughout the song, but again why?? Why did they go in this direction for this remix?? Like this all feels like it was conjured up in some label exec’s head and then the bags were negotiated so all involved parties decided to go through the motions as much as humanly possible to put this together. Years down the road Miriam Webster will likely link to this music video for the dictionary dot com definition of phoning it in.

 

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Charli XCX about to bash my head in with a shovel

This is the third time in a row Charli has gone the nostalgia route for a single, last remixing her own song with Blame It On Your Love with Lizzo and 1999 with Troye Sivan. I will never understand why the label continues to push this angle for Charli, because none of these singles show her even close to her best. When I saw Charli on her Pop 2 tour she closed with Girls Night Out a then unreleased song that I spent ages trying to track down on the internet before Charli finally put it out herself last year. The production here was helmed by Grammy nominated PC Music queen Sophie, and is as perfect a bubblegum pop song as one could make. One time I was in Las Vegas for a work conference in a limo headed to a party with a suite of suits I didn’t know that well. By fate or by destiny I was given the aux cord. I started the trip with Girls Night Out and when I turned back and gave a finger wag to “no boys no boys” the whole limo erupted into cheers. People both in and outside the limo were finger wagging “no boys no boys” at me for the rest of the trip, and I heard the song a hundred more times before I took my flight home. Why Charli and her team continue to sit on Girls Night Out, which I genuinely believe could become a number one hit with the right video and marketing, while pushing this unenthusiastic garbage is beyond me.

Stream Girls Night Out by Charli XCX on all platforms Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube.

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